Engaging Life ... Thoughts on Life

Change

2010-06-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted. To any who are still checking I ask your forgiveness. It has been a busy few months as we have been in transition here at First UMC. I have many thoughts on life that I could share that come from the past 5 months. But I will share the one that is in my mind at the moment.

Change ... Yesterday I visited my chiropractor for a much needed adjustment. His adjusting tables were turned 180 degrees from where they had been. Without thinking about it I went to the table, and lay on my back. He said you are the first person not to stop with a confused look trying to figure out which end of the table their head should be and which end their feet should be. I thought about that. Perhaps the larger changes in my life were making changes like that of the direction of an adjustment table much easier to manage.

I said to Dr. Ben (my chiropractor), change is good. He agreed. He made the change so that when he is adjusting patients he uses different muscles now than when the table was turned in the other direction. Hmmm ... Maybe change allows us to utilize new skills that we never knew we had. I know that as I lay on the table I saw some things in his office that I had not seen in the previous 2 years. Maybe change helps us to see from new perspectives all that we have been missing up until the moment of change. Maybe change is good.

Of course, changing for the sake of changing is not a good idea. But Dr. Ben had purpose in his change, and it was good. But as I said it caught some of his patients off guard and confused them a little. They had to reorient their thinking about how to approach the adjustment table. Often changes do catch us off guard. We can either respond with frustration as though the change is a problem, or we can respond as though it is an opportunity.

I hope you will see the opportunities in the changes you face in your life this week.

Peace

Kerry

Thoughts on Fear

2010-03-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about fear. Here are some of my thoughts. Never be afraid to say you are afraid. Fear is a normal part of life. Instead of hiding fears bring them out in the open. Name them. Bringing fears into the light helps you to control your fears.

It is important to be in control of our fears. Fear should never motivate us to action. When fear motivates us to act, very often the action is unhealthy and leads us in the wrong direction. Think about it. The Nazi’s used a fear campaign with the German people. Their campaign against what they named as the evil people groups, such as, the Jews, the communists, the homosexuals, the physically imperfect, the non-Aryan, etc., caused enough fear to lead the German people to kill millions of people. Fear seems often to be at the root of our human atrocities. We fear certain people groups to the point of wanting to remove them from our space. Beware of fear as a motivation in your life.

To overcome fear, embrace love. 1 John 4:16-20 says that the perfect love of God casts out our fear. Let the love of God embrace you and then let that love motivate you to act. Love is a much more powerful motivator for us. Love leads us to right and good action in life.
What thoughts do you have regarding fear?

Life's Lessons

2010-01-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

So many of us think we have it all figured out. Sometimes I wish people would just get a clue and realize that I have it all figured out … Or a … ummm … well … okay, that is just a little off. But really, it amazes me how many experts there are in the world and how many believe they have it all figured out.

For example, there are millions of Americans who believe that President Obama does not have a clue how to lead the country. And more, these millions believe that they could somehow do better. The same is true for just about every presidency. But maybe it is time for us to humble ourselves and realize that we do not have all the answers.

And instead of putting down presidents and others whom we think know less than we do, perhaps we could work together instead. Instead of being critical and speaking up about those whom we think have it wrong, we should realize that we too often have it wrong. I am reminded by the band Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song, “Life’s Lessons” that just when we get proud and think we know it all that we better get ready for a fall. Some of the lyrics from the song are as follows.

So you think you know it all; But you're headin' for a fall; Ooh to make it back again you'll have to crawl and step back; Take a look around; Are your feet still on the ground; Can we find you in the section of lost and found.Never think you got it figured out; 'Cause when you do you begin to doubt; It's time for you to open your eyes …

Maybe it is time for us to move from our self-focused know it all blindness and open our eyes to realize that we all have a lot to learn and we all have room to grow. In fact, I don’t have it all figured out. Let's figure it out together as we trust God together.

Climb That Ladder?

2009-12-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

Recently a very good friend of mine told me about her evaluation at work. She is in a professional career that pays her more than she currently needs to live on. She is content working 40-45 hours per week and having a life outside of her career.

She is not interested in further advancement. She does not want to do more education except that which would keep her up to date in her field. And she does not want to serve on any committees in her company during off work hours. If she did some of these things she could be making a lot more money and she would climb the ladder in her profession.

She certainly has the gifts and talents to go further, but she is choosing not too. Instead she wants to spend time with her family, pursue a hobby or two that is different than her career, and enjoy the life she has outside of her career. Is she nuts?

I don't think she is nuts. In fact, I think it is nuts to sacrifice hobbies, family, and the enjoyment of life for a career and for advancement in that career.

In 2010, choose carefully what you will sacrifice on the alter of your career. Advancement in your career in itself is not a bad choice, but make sure you check out just what it will cost to advance. Then think as though you were at the end of your life. Was the sacrifice worth it?

Seek Peace and Pursue it in 2010 - Be at peace within and be a peace maker with others.

The end of the world?

2009-11-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

I have been hearing about the end of the world again. Again? Well this is not the first time in my lifetime. The last big one I remember was Y2K. Anybody still have a generator they are trying to sell from that one ... or have water and canned food in your basement? (Sidenote: If you do it is time to give it away.) Check out this website for some of the predictions throughout history about the end of the world ... it is an impressive list.

http://www.bible.ca/pre-date-setters.htm

In any case, more and more is showing up about 2012 and the Mayan calendar, among other 2012 predictions. The end of the world as we know it (That was a good song by R.E.M. by the way). Some of us will run with fear and do everything we can to save ourselves. Others of us will be indifferent and think nothing of it. After all, predictions have come and gone and the world is still here. Right. So relax and do nothing. Still others are unsure of what to think or do about it.

Let me offer my opinion.
1. Don't worry - after all, no one really can predict the end of the world. For me i go with what Jesus said, that is, no one really knows when it will all end (Matthew 24:35-36). Have faith that God will do what God will do and that God loves you and me and the world.

2. Do something - Be a part of building the kingdom of God. how? Love your neighbor. Love God. Be Christmas people (give yourself away to someone in need). Be present in a place of pain. Pray for someone ... especially for your enemy. In doing these kinds of things you are preparing yourself both for your own end of life and for the end of the world.

3. When trouble comes don't just try to save yourself - help someone else. And if the end of the world does come. Be at peace knowing that you are in the hands of a gracious God who will help you into a joyous eternal life.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Can't we all just get along?

2009-11-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Great question ... I first heard it about 18 years ago from a guy named Rodney King. He was speaking in regard to his own arrest (brutally beaten by police officers), and he was speaking to the riots that ensued in Los Angeles.

We have so many differences. And sometimes those differences cut us off from each other because we do not like the differences. But if we could only get past them maybe we could learn from each other.

Recently I read a brief article from Os Hillman. He wrote regarding Jesus' interaction with a Samaritan woman. You can read the story in the Bible in John 4. Hillman writes, "Jesus interacted with his culture and especially those who thought differently than He. When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well it was much like a Christian speaking to a Muslim or a Jew speaking to a Palestinian. Jesus built a relationship with the woman instead of taking an adversarial position."

Why do we have to take the adversarial position? Why can't we affirm each person for who they are and still disagree about some ideas and beliefs? In fact, I think we can disagree and still love one another.

I hope you and I will choose this path of love and embrace in spite of the differences.

Rodanthe, Skeptics, God, and 9/11

2009-10-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Last week my wife and I spent a week with some friend’s in Rodanthe, NC. We finally watched the movie Nights in Rodanthe this week. The movie was good with some underlying good messages about life and what is important in life, but that is just a side note.

While on vacation I had plenty of time to do some reading. I took two books along with me. One is called Letters to a Skeptic. The book outlines a series of letters between a father and his son. The father is skeptical of his son’s faith in Christ. The son is a professor of theology. It was great to get reconnected to some of the reasons why I believe that Jesus Christ is the way to God. The book reminded me that I do not have all the answers to why awful things happen in this life, but that, as I am more convinced than ever again, God is at work in the world seeking to bring good even though there is much that is bad.

Ironically, the other book I grabbed was written by a friend of mine, Artie Van Why, called That Day in September. Artie wrote about his September 11, 2001 experience as he was working across the street from the Twin Towers in New York that day. Reading this book and hearing Artie’s view of God’s presence that day and in the days to follow, coupled with reading the other book, helped me to come to even deeper faith in God.

In essence, I see again that God is at work in the world. And in humanity we have the capability to do incredible good … stopping to help a dying man on the streets of New York while there is danger all around … as well as the capability to do incredible evil … hijacking airplanes and flying them into buildings at the cost of thousands of lives just because of blinding hatred.

No I do not have answers for the horrors of a day like 9/11. Still I can cling to my hope that God is at work in a world with tragic events just like that, and that God is bringing about good in this world.

Thank you to my friend Artie for writing so masterfully your experience … a painful one I am sure. Yet through it all, you have offered me again deep insight into the person of God and have helped to renew my faith in God’s work in the world.

Random Thoughts

2009-08-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

In my last blog ... too long ago ... I promised that I would share thoughts from the Leadership Summit. Here they are:

1. From Bono (lead singer U2): Some of U2's best work happens when we do not know what we are doing. I could dialogue a while on this thought, but to keep it short ... Maybe we should not worry about it when we do not know exactly what we are doing or how we will get through this next thing.

2. Chip and Dan Heath: Focus on what is working well in a time of change ... study the bright spots and clone them. In this they suggest that leaders should not wring their hands over the problem or weak areas.

3. David Gergen had many thoughts that I found helpful but to narrow it:
A. Do not let a crisis take away the time needed to stop and think about the crisis and time to consider the best course of action. Too often we run ahead and act because we think we have to, when in fact the best course of action may be to slow down and collect ourselves and our thoughts so we can better act. I agree.
B. Be straight when you make a mistake ... Maturity is being willing and able to come to grips with your dark side ... Admit that your life is a mess - Admit your sin. I think that is great advice ... In other words, transparency is a good thing for leaders.
C. If you want to go fast, go alone ... If you want to go far, go together. Again, great advice ...

More to come later ...

THE Relationship

2009-08-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended the Leadership Summit put on by Willow Creek. I wrote down lots of quotes and I will share some of those in future blogs. But coming away from it I feel it was a homerun event for my life for 2 reasons. One is personal and relates to personal internal changes and personal life goals. I will not share these with the world, but I have shared them with my wife. In any case, I say this to say that leadership requires first self-leadership. I encourage all to look internally and find something that needs change and work toward making the change.

The second life changer for me was on a broader scale. I remembered the reason why for saying yes to the call I felt from God to enter pastoral ministry. In essence, yes to the call did not come because from a desire to do some big ministry thing or because of an internal need to give pastoral care to people or any other ministry reason you might think of. Rather, I remember the incredible grace filled relationship that I found with God through Jesus Christ and the deep desire to let others know about it. Leadership and ministry and all the things we do therein are only tools to point us toward God and a relationship with God through Christ.

I hope you have found this relationship.

Peace

Great Friends on a Great Ride

2009-07-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

The past week brought me some great memories and fun. I come away from that time refreshed and filled with peace, happiness, and joy. I spent my time riding the roads of New Jersey and Pennsylvania on my Victory motorcycle. I ask myself as I end that trip what made it so great.

First it was great because we were riding. That is always fun. But more, somehow with all the rain all around us we managed to stay pretty dry throughout. My friends like to give me credit for the weather because they say I am somehow closer to God than they are, but we all know better. So I say, “Thank you God!” And more, although there were one or two close calls, we all stayed upright on the bikes. It is always good when no one goes down. Again, thank God!

But more than riding, staying upright, and staying dry the fun along the way made our trip great. The practical jokes played on each other knowing it was okay to pick on each other made it fun. It is always good when you can have fun with each other knowing we are all enjoying it and knowing that no one intends anything malicious. Good times and good friends having fun and enjoying the ride of life together made it great.

And that is the best thing … good friends who are not anxious with each other but who are simply enjoying life with each other. My friends looked out for me. When I was tired and needed a break we all stopped. When I was feeling the need to take it slower, no one complained. I am so grateful for friends like Steve and Ed who were riding with me, for friends like Tom and Dan who brought our golf clubs so we could enjoy golf together, and for Foxy and Pat, Tracy and Coach who opened up their cabins for us and welcomed us, fed us, and had fun with us.

I thank God for great friends on a great ride. I hope you have some great rides in life with great friends.

Freedom

2009-07-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

Where do we find freedom that is truly free? We talk about American freedom, freedom out on the open road (for you motorcyclists out there), freedom of speech (and the rest of the Bill of Rights), and more. But even these freedoms have limitations. For example, the freedom of the open road is limited by curves in the road, loose stones on the road, and the yellow and white lines on the road. Freedom of speech is limited, in that, we cannot slander someone else, we can't tell lies under oath, and what we say can be used against us in a court of law.

Ahhh, the law, the thing that both protects us and limits our freedom in a way. So, the law is good but it cannot ultimately give us freedom. In the New Testament, Paul wrote in Romans about this very fact. Freedom for us comes not from knowing the law of what is right and wrong, but instead in knowing Christ who set us free from the law, from sin, and from eternal death.

This is pretty basic stuff for Christ followers, but sometimes we forget. We get focused on how good of a person we are, trying to be the better person, trying to do things right, or trying to be right. Instead we must remember that we need to be made right and good by God. This is the only real way to be free.

A Friend Worth Keeping

2009-06-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

When is the last time you read the Old Testament Book of Job. It is really a great story to read. One of the things that fascinates me about the book is that Job was a man whose life was moved from wealth, influence, having a good name, and a man of deep faith to losing it all. He got there NOT because of sin or messing up in his life, but rather because bad things happened to a good person. And essentially because the devil wanted to make Job's life so miserable that he would curse God.

The good news is that Job did not sink to cursing God even though if I were Job, I do not know if I could have made it. Still, Job became increasingly frustrated and asked God for answers about his situation. Why? Because of Job's friends. They came and accused Job of some wrong doing saying that this was the cause of his suffering.

Read the story for a much better overview. But my thinking moved to the tragic fact that of all the things Job had in life, he lacked a friend worth keeping. Job's suffering brought that to light. In essence, his so-called friends were only superficial friends who were waiting for a moment to pounce on Job and bring him down. When Job suffered all they could do was accuse him.

I hope you have some friends who are worth keeping. These are friends who will stick with you when things are going tough in life. These people are not anxious when you talk to them about your troubles. Rather these are friends who will listen to you without judging you. I hope you have friends like these and I hope you become a friend to others in this way.

Peace

Becoming a Super-Hero Like Peter Parker (Spiderman)

2009-06-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

This week we celebrated The Day of Pentecost in the life of the Church. It was a great celebration as it should be. Pentecost marks the day that God sent God's Spirit to Christians. This gave life to the Christian Church (by the way, the church is the people of God). Miraculous things happened as people heard a message of grace, truth, and hope on that day. Many new people followed Jesus. Many people began to live differently by choosing simplicity, generosity, and community. They found the love of God to be real and transforming in their lives. Hungry people were fed, no one in their community was poor anymore, and everyone had all they needed because they began to share with each other. You can read about this in the book of Acts in the Bible.

In celebrating Pentecost this year I was reminded that these men and women, many of whom became legends and heroes to the church for many years to come, were in fact ordinary people like you and me. Sometimes as a pastor, I am given reverence by a title, such as, "Reverend" (by the way, I dislike the title except when it is used by my friends who know me well and who I know are not using it to "reverence" me). Sometimes to some I am almost considered a hero. But wait, like every one at Pentecost and like every hero you can think of, I along with everyone else is nothing more than an ordinary human being who at times accomplishes something extra-ordinary. How does that happen?

Superheroes like spiderman may give us the clue. It was a spider bite from a radio-active spider (sorry I am not a spiderman expert) that empowered the ordinary Peter Parker to do extraordinary and heroic things. That is what Pentecost is like. It was the Spirit of God that filled the ordinary men like Peter the disciple of Jesus and cause him to lead extraordinary things to happen.

I hope that all of us can experience the bite of God's Spirit in our lives to find the hero within. You may be ordinary, but God has extraordinary and heroic things planned for you. You too can be a super-hero.

Peace

Fear No Evil!

2009-05-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about Fear. What causes you to be afraid? Are you afraid of the dark, afraid of heights, afraid of getting some disease (or afraid that a loved one will get some disease), dying, or something else? Every one of our fears has the potential of becoming reality to one degree or another. ... Uh, did that put your mind at ease? Probably not. But it is true, bad things can happen to any one of us - and really it matters not how religious you are or how good you are. Bad things can still happen to you.

But no matter what you are afraid of, you do not have to fear evil. Evil is not all the "bad" things outside of us that can harm us (you know, like hurricanes, diseases, or that which we can't control or understand). Rather evil is that which separates us from the good - from God. Evil is found within our hearts when we talk bad about other people. Evil is found within us when we choose not to act in loving ways toward others. Evil is found within our hearts - the most deceitful place in all the world, and yet the place from which the potential for the most good flows. The question is this: Who or what is controlling your heart?

Jesus said, it is not what goes into a person that corrupts him or her, but rather it is that which flows from the inside out that corrupts and destroys us. Check yourself (Yes, for a moment check yourself instead of everyone else around you), and ask what is flowing from within my life: good or evil? Then decide to stay closely connected to Jesus Christ who has the power and potential to change your life.

So instead of fearing evil, realize where it comes from and stop it. And let go of the fear that bad things might happen. Some will and some will not happen to you. And usually that which we worry the most about never comes true anyway, while it is the unexpected that hits us hardest.

These are just my thoughts for the day. I always appreciate dialogue. And if you think differently than me that is good. I would love to hear from you.

Have a peace filled day.

Got a Problem with Someone? Go to the Source!

2009-05-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

Too often people will come to me with a concern about someone else, or they will come having felt offended by someone else. My advice is that they should go and talk to the other person and work out their differences. Too often these persons tell me that they cannot go back to the person with whom they have this problem. Most of the time the reason given for not wanting to talk to the other is the belief that the other person does not or will not listen to or understand them.

But here is what I fail to understand. How does it help anyone to come to me with the problem? At best they get to get something off their chest and at worst this turns into gossip and a deeper separation of people. If I commiserate with them about the other person, it becomes gossip and a deeply judgmental conversation very quickly. If coming to me about the other person is just a time to vent, that can help, but still it fails to move anyone toward reconciliation.

When you are frustrated with someone, feeling hurt, or angry with someone else, it can be helpful to talk to a third person about it in order to seek advice. The advice should be about things like your perceptions of the grievance felt or the best way to approach the other person in a loving and forgiving way. It is also acceptable to ask a third person to be a mediator.

However, if you have no intention of going to the person you are frustrated with, or if it is your intention to have a third person go and speak to the other on your behalf, I encourage you to save your breath and the time of the third person.

It is time we started talking to each other when we feel hurt, frustrated, or angry with someone else. This is the best model for community and for relationships, and it is the best way to approach reconciliation.

Vacation

2009-05-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

I just came back from the remarkable Outer Banks, North Carolina. My wife and I spent a week there with 4 other couples in a house in Rodanthe. (No it was not the same house as in the movie, Nights of Rodanthe). But it was a great place. From our house we could see the ocean and the Bay. It was absolutely beautiful every morning and every night.

I spent my time laying on the beach and by the pool (and I sunburnt). I played two rounds of golf (you do not want to know the score because it was bad). I read and spent time in peace in quiet (basically accomplishing nothing). Really i did nothing of great substance, although Michell (my wife) did go deep sea fishing and caught some fish.

In all one might say, "so, your vacation consisted of a sunburn, two poorly played rounds of golf, and lazing around doing little. What a waste of time. Yes, it was. For me it was a "Royal Waste of Time." By the way, I owe the phrase, "Royal Waste of Time" to author and theologian, Marva Dawn. In her book, she helps us to see the importance of rest and time away with God.

Let me tell you. I came home with the glow of God sunburnt all over my chest and head. I came home having played two marvelous rounds of golf where I had nothing to be stressed about and had only to enjoy the day the Lord had made. I came home having refreshed through putting my feet up, listening to music, and reading the History Books of the Old Testament. Wasting all that time was the best use of my time I can say I had in a long time.

One of my parishoners emailed me on Monday, two days after returning from vacation. She said she hopes that I go away more often. The reason ... in her estimation worship and the preaching event were fresher than they have been in a while. She reminds me of the importance of Royally wasting my time in the presence of God and with good friends. My spirit is refreshed.

And I am glad. Yesterday ended up being a 13 hour day in the office. Many people came to me in need. But the good news is that God prepared me for it.

I hope you can soon waste some of your time away getting refreshed by the living God.

Road Rage - A Sign of Something Deeper

2009-04-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

This week has been a particularly stressful one for me. My blood pressure went up. I have had more headaches. And there are other signs that I am allowing the stress to get the better of me.

First there is the fact that I have been much more aggressive behind the wheel. Normally i drive at or right around the speed limit, I do not move in and out of traffic, and I tend not to yell at other drivers. I noticed this week that I have been speeding, aggressive and yelling at other drivers. I felt stupid.

Then I raised my voice with someone this week who came into my office unannounced. Usually I am pretty calm with those who do this, but this time I was not. I felt remorse about doing it.

But these two things are only surface problems and sins pointing to a deeper issue in my life. The deeper issue is that I am letting my surroundings and circumstances control my life instead of being controlled by the Spirit of God.

At the end of the week I am taking another look at my relationship with God.

I encourage you to be aware of the signs in your life that are uncovering a drift from relying on God.

Peace

Fearing The Things That We Don't Understand

2009-03-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

Too often we fear the things we do not understand. We fear people who are different than us. We fear unfamiliar things.

When this fear fills us we either freeze in life and do nothing (doing nothing is actually doing something), or we try to run away from feared thing. But running away often leads us into trouble too.

Consider a deer who steps out in front of a car. When this happens the deer often freezes not knowing what to do as it stares into the car's headlights. The deer likely got there in the first place because when the deer first heard or saw the car it panicked and ran out into the road. This ends up bad for the deer and the car and usually for the passengers in the car.

I don't know if my illustration is the best one, but the point is unmistakeable for me. When we are faced with something - anything - that is prone to lead us into fear (like a car coming down the road), giving way to the fear can cause bad things to happen.

Instead of being fearful, perhaps it is better to seek understanding. If the deer - incapable as it may be - began to understand that the vehicle approaching will stay on the road it would not likely run into the danger zone of being hit by that car.

If you and I approached people who are different than us by seeking to understand their perspective rather than by fearing them and seeking to run from them, we might grow as people and end up with less pain or no pain.

I know this whole thing is a little vague .... but consider finding someone or something that you do not understand and engage with that person or that thing. Try to see the other not as a threat to you but as something or someone who can help you to grow. Maybe the world would be a better place if we did that.

It seems to me Jesus did that a lot ... people like Zaccaheus, Matthew, prostitutes, lepers, the woman at the well ... need I go on. All of these people were feared and avoided in society by most until Jesus came along. Jesus engaged with these misunderstood and feared people and it made the world better.

Think about it.

I Could Do Better Than That ... Or Not.

2009-03-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I had breakfast with a friend. We began talking politics, economy, Bernie Madoff, and more. Out of these conversations we began talking about being president. And we found some things to be critical about for both the most recent former presidents (Mr. Clinton and Mr. Bush) and for our current president (Mr. Obama).

It is easy to be critical, isn't it? By the end of the conversation which included lots of critical comments, we both looked at one another and said, "I wouldn't want the job." After all the job is thankless too often, it requires meetings all over the world and at all days and hours, and there is likely less in your control as a president - even in the U.S. - than we would like to think. Yet somehow for a moment in time I was talking as if I could have done better than these leaders have done. It was a humbling moment for me. I realized that, in fact, I could not do better than any of these have done. In fact, if I were president things would probably be worse.

I was thinking that perhaps instead of being critical I could find ways to be supportive of the president, even when I disagree with policy. After all, he is the president and that should be enough to warrant my support, regardless of whether I voted for him.

Perhaps it is time for all of us - me included - to move beyond our belief that somehow we could do better than our leaders, and begin instead to support them. Maybe, just maybe, our leaders would do better at what they do if they received our support instead of our criticism. Sharing ideas even though they may be different than our leaders is good as this may also help them. But criticizing them just because they differ with us and refusing them our support does little but perhaps make things worse than they are.

As a church leader I know how much help I find in ideas shared from people who think differently than I do. Yet it is the critical comments that shut things down. Are you negative or positive in the feedback you give to your leaders?

Think on these things.

If Only Everyone Agreed With Me ...

2009-03-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about being "right." Most of the time I think I am right about how to do things, about my understanding of God, about my political leanings, about relationships, and about most everything. Yes! I AM right about most everything. Sure there are those things that I am wrong about once in a while ... but for the most part, I AM right. If only everyone agreed with me about the things of life.

If only ... reality check! Thank God that not everyone agrees with me about everything. In fact, I know I am not right about everything or even most everything. And if everyone agreed with me on everything the world would be in a huge mess more than anyone could imagine.

I really do not want everyone to agree with me on everything. I want people to challenge me like one of my professors did in college because that helps me to grow as a person. I remember the lesson well. I was taking a class on the Bible book of Revelation ... which at the time, I pretty much believed (In fact, was convinced), that I knew everything about Revelation and that I could teach it without any problems. Throughout the class I found myself correcting my professor about his misunderstandings of Revelation. Thankfully he opened my eyes ... not to the truth of the book of Revelation. Rather he opened my eyes to the truth about myself, that is, I don't know all that I think I do - and more - I AM NOT RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. He gave a wide open assignment for our final paper to write about what we learned about Revelation. I wrote on everything that I unlearned about the book. 17 years later I still know a lot less than I knew back then about Revelation ... But somehow I think that means I actually know more.

I thank God for opening my eyes to the fact that I am not right about everything and I do not have to prove to others that I am right. More I do not have to convince others to agree with me. It is so freeing to live life this way. Maybe instead of convincing others, I should instead do what Jesus did and simply love others without passing judgment. Maybe I should love people even when they fail to agree with me.

That is my ramble for the day. And don't feel like you have to agree.
Peace.

Got Time?

2009-01-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

It is a new year. What will I do with the 525, 6oo minutes of my life this year? What priorities will I give to those minutes? Will I enjoy those minutes, or will I be anxious for them to be over? Will I look back in the future and wonder where they all went? Will I use the time to do things that last longer than those minutes, or will I waste them in things that mean little or nothing to even the minutes spent? Will I use any just to rest and renew? What will I do with all this time?

I hope you take some of your minutes to ask yourself these kinds of questions. It will be worth the time to ask and answer these.

Make the most of the time you have. It will be worth it. (By the way, making the most of your time sometimes involves slowing down, resting, renewing, etc.)

Happy New Year to all.

Who is Responsible for You?

2008-12-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

In the past few years I have been learning something about responsibility. I used to find it easy to blame others when I felt they made me mad or frustrated about some thing. Not so much any more.

Lately I have been learning something about myself ... perhaps about all people. That is, we all can be pushed over the edge on some subject. For example, I know some people who are absolutely aghast at how some could have voted for one presidential candidate or another. Some people can hardly believe that you could vote for a republican like McCain because of his view on war, while others can hardly believe that you could vote for Obama because of his stance on abortion. If one or the others hears about how you voted, it may push them over the edge. They may actually not like you very much anymore because you voted for the "wrong" candidate ... at least in their mind. But they still hold you responsible for blowing it and voting the "wrong" way.

But here is my point ... if you are frustrated at your one time friend for how they voted, then get over it. Yes, they pushed your button that led you to be frustrated with them, but that is not their problem. That is your problem. They are not responsible to you or for your peace of mind about the vote or anything else. You are responsible. We are all responsible for our own buttons and triggers. No one can take you where you do not decide to go. You are responsible for you.

Let me take it one step further. In a marriage, one partner is not responsible for the other's happiness. For someone to say my spouse no longer brings me happiness is foolish. My happiness depends on no one but me. For happiness is a state of mind and only you can control your mind.

So be responsible for yourself. Stop letting others push your buttons. And Don't Worry ... Be Happy!

Just Hanging Out ... It Can Accomplish Much

2008-11-10T13:36:00.000-08:00

I feel sometimes that there has to be a goal accomplished, or that I have to be involved in some thing in order to be considered succesful. It seems that our culture puts pressure on us to accomplish something. But is there not merit in just being together with someone else...talking, laughing, and listening to each other? No goal or purpose, just hanging out. Somehow I think we need more of that in our world. Perhaps such time with others would propel us to accomplish more in life.

My suggestion to you is to find someone today, and just hang out with them. Maybe that is your son or daughter, your husband or wife, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, a stranger...you get the idea. At the end of the day you may have just accomplished more than if you had planned out an agenda with several goals in mind. Think about it!

Now I am off to hang out with someone.